"What in the world is a Death Cafe?" In short, it's a quarterly program put on by Normal Public Library. During the renovation, we're holding it at The Coffeehouse and Deli in Uptown Normal. The purpose: To openly discuss mortality and its many details, topics to be raised by attendees. No, it's not a bereavement group (though we'll provide you with a list of those if you want them). No, it's not a religious talk about where you might go after you die. Instead, it's a general discussion of all things death-related, usually including some of the following:
- How do I want to be remembered?
- Do I want every measure taken to save my life? When does a DNR kick in?
- If I could pick, where would I prefer to die? Who would I like to have there with me?
- Can I write my own obituary? Do I want it serious or funny? Where should I keep it for when it's necessary?
- What's going to happen to my living pets? Is it okay to be buried with a pet who predeceased me?
- What happens if I die without a will? If I don't have a lot of money, should I still make one?
- Who will clean out my house or apartment after I die? Should I be doing that now?
- Do I want a funeral or memorial service? Where should I have it? Who might speak? What kind of music do I want?
- Do I want a green burial? Cremation with ashes scattered, and if so, where? A burial in a cemetery with a Celtic band playing bagpipes to see me off? Can I have a destination memorial service on the beach in Costa Rica with cocktails for attendees?
YIKES, you may be thinking. That all sounds... useful, but scary and heavy, too. Yes and no, in actual fact. First, we have it at The Coffeehouse for a reason -- so we can have coffee and cake and celebrate the ways we like to be alive while we talk about death. Second, you frequently hear laughter at Death Cafe as people try out various options: "Do I want 'Another One Bites the Dust' as a musical selection during my funeral? How about 'Pop Goes the Weasel' combined with a confetti explosion out the top of my urn to finish my memorial service?"
So: Not as serious as you were thinking, but definitely useful. Like I always say, we've all got a departure ticket, it's just that most of us don't know the date and time printed on it. But it can be a big help to you personally as well as your loved ones (including pets!) if you think about things ahead of time. That way, you can TOTALLY pre-arrange for the confetti cannon, throw in some bagpipes, and ensure just the right person gets your collection of Star Wars action figures.
Our next meeting: November 17 at 2 pm. Sign up at https://www.normalpl.org/events/month/2024/11 to enjoy good company and thoughtful conversation. Future You will thank you. And if you choose the confetti explosion or Costa Rica option, trust me: You will DEFINITELY be remembered.